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Some days ago together with a colleague, Mas Beni we visited a killer in Wirogunan Jail, Taman Siswa Yogyakarta. Just call Mr. A for his name, his age 25. Mr. A was caught by the police when his wife in first child pregnancy. He had been convicted for 10 years, this is second year he have being been in jail. He involved in hostility intergenk till to kill a live. This story had been blasted in Yogyakarta around 2 years ago because implicated two big parties instead of they were young guys.

After registration we passed the main gate. All running by standard. I was still thinking where was room to meet convict at exited from body checkup room. At before I had seen many peoples in room like a hall behind bars, they made some small circle groups on the floor and talking one to other excitingly. “What kind stuff Sir, so noisy?” I asked to gate keeper. His answer make question, “This is your first visit Madam?” Gerrr..I said for myself stupid that is room you know! Oughhh is really?

Lastly 10 minutes left, Mr. A came in to hall, he used blue water shirt. My first impression he was no killer model. I described our intention want to know his condition and at once seeking the real chronology of his case. We told him his grandmother asking our help for him.

There were five basic questions I gave him but the last one question is for all of us. When I asked what kind stuff he used to killed he answered by sickle. What area of body of victim that got sickle he said at the head. I asked again why he can kill victim he said the victim had attacked a friend in his companion.

But when I asked a deeper question was his goal in life to kill? Exactly like I guessed he said WASN’T.

The same answer we can find when asking to the corpse and scripture traders: are their life to trade corpse and scripture? To the corrupter: is your goal to corrupt? To the trouble maker, deceiver and slanderer: is all of your objective to do bad things? Of course NOT BABY!

But why you became killer? My question to made Mr. A looked down with speechless. Why becomes corrupter? Why becomes corpse and scripture seller? Why becomes deceiver, slanderer and trouble maker? Auntie and uncle we do not know!

Unknowingly, in the journey of this life we often to become antithesis of the goal targeted. A largely people in perspective of poverty mental trap. Bring away of goal by doing ineffectively things. It usually wants to close to the goal if had been stuck, in jail, get bankrupt, sick and almost dying.

Independently we can trace our track through the some very simple phases questions; What I am pursuing, how I can reach it, who the victim are I make, where is the track of deed I can find and to the peak question: WHY. Why all can be happened?

As for you info, Mr. A has gotten jail for three times. He hope this jail is the latest. Will he pay 10 years punishment in vain? Ten years are very much enough time reconstruct the goal of somebody but it will be complicated if we are talking about the capacity of this country that related the ability of prison in coaching.

Why is able to kill? Why can trade corpse and scripture? Why can eat people’s money? Why can make hoax? And why why why….? If have no occasion to think about it, the rainy times at the end of year it probably become sweet moment to born a pearl of life as if we want to take a little time, be silent and come in to the self to answer the top of the top question: What is my goal in life—why my life is not harmonize with the goal?

I was be more sure my first impression and starting to sued it. A little conclusion is more intact than the pieces of puzzle that “this guy got misguided parenting and the victim of changing”. State, environment, origin family and his core family have jailed ‘a teddy bear” not a killer! My statement do not ignore his deed. Mr. A must responsible it.

Life always has challenge, as it is Indonesian people live still have fortune in the middle difficulty, Mr. A still was lucky as I still find original something made from universe reside in his bottom heart. He will be assisted with this stuff to reconstruct the purpose of life.

Yapppyyy.. its okay, this is life! There is always has problem but how the problem is solved that is a question! The people likes Mr. A still can be developed. A loop 180 degrees will be happened if getting the right guidance and surrounding.

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